🏛 Stoas near [[@agora/2023 04 06]]
📚 Node [[2023-04-06]]
↳ 📓 Resource [[@agora/2023 04 06]]
- Thursday, 04/06/2023 ** 10:48 Realizing that, though I have lots of software development experience, I need more, faster - I can make decisions fast but I can't fly. I can roll a couple of pages for the platform in a couple of days - why can't I do it all in one? I can work at getting much faster and more efficient with the time and tools that I have. ** 19:54 Cold hellos! The next day.
I think meeting people on the street might work, but I have to have the right approach...
Ran into a film photographer walking around the Slussen area. He was shooting street - looked the other way when I tried to make eye contact with him. Might have been someone cool to meet! I'll see him again when I'm out with the camera as well - I hope.
Ran into some Americans outside of Espresso House. Came on too strong, probably off of that 'rejection' - "Are you American? Hi, I'm Jake, I just moved here, what are you doing here" very quickly. Obviously did not go well - they were a bit put off - though they said they were traveling around, and may not have been in the right mood to talk to people. As a younger woman, I'd be cautious of 'cold approaches' traveling across Europe as well - hard to know what to expect. I just want to make friends.
It's possible that the discomfort was completely imagined by me; I need to stabilize my life and sleep schedule to relax a bit when meeting others. I'm physically attractive enough - and that will be maintained - but my actions and mannerisms might be a bit off-putting to people. I also need to work on my 'pitch':
What words should come out of my mouth when I'm trying to meet someone?
Who am I in ten words?
Now that I think about it, I think it's possible she circled back around and asked a question in another attempt to talk to me. I don't really understand the social dynamics of interacitons like this though - or what other people expect from me. In America I embrace being a little awkward and direct, but here I think I need to be more subtle.
I don't know if 'Jake' cuts it.
When do I provide my name? When do I get someone else's name?
When is using Swedish important? How quickly can I become competent? I can say hi, I can count, I can make sure you're okay, and I can say that something is cool, but it feels uncomfortable to lead with Swedish if I can't carry a conversation beyond the first couple of exchanges or run into an unfamiliar word.
It will come with time - but I'm worried about meeting people until then. Life is brief and I want to make the most of it.
What can I do going forward?
- Think a bit about a cold approach strategy. In America it's easy to accept that I'm a bit awkward, but here people seem less comfortable with a cold approach in general. It's as if I've ruined their day just by opening my mouth regardless of what I'm saying. The people at restaurants and such who are paid to talk to me seem happy though.
- Take lots of walks at common leisure times. The more frequently that I'm visible around the area where I live, the more likely that people are to recognize me frequently and the more likely I am to get to know them. People don't frequently get to know their neighbors here, though...
- Become a regular. Get to know a local business, the people who work there, and the people who also frequent the place. Keep a consistent schedule with times and habits to make sure the people will keep running into you.
- Reserve and dedicate time to be open to others! You can be out doing other activities, but make sure that you appear open and ready to strike up a conversation if given the opportunity.
- Sign up for recurring activities and language classes. Figure out where and how to do that!
How do I make myself look as approachable as possible?
This will be a good experience. If I can make friends out of nowhere here, I can feel comfortable enough to start a new life anywhere - which is an incredibly valuable skill to have. ** 21:52 Stumbled upon packable backpacks again and thinking about my ideal bag. The thing should either fit flat in a decently sized back pocket or hug the back in such a way that it doesn't disrupt the wearer when running or moving quickly. It's definitely possible to make a bag that does this. Should store around 20 liters - enough for an emergency grocery store run and a light jacket - if necessary - and have a separate laptop/device sleeve.
I like that my REI hat can crumple up. Items should be designed to occupy as little space as default when possible so that they are not disruptive to people who want bring them wherever they go or otherwise use them every day. The hat is missing a clip on the back to attach to something if it's not being used and a pocket is not available.